You're still their dad
Calm, practical help for dads dealing with social services, the family court or a separation in England and Wales.
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Guides
Beyond the Referral
What to do when social services get involved, from the first call to the case closing.
Family Court Roadmap
How to agree child arrangements and what to expect if you go to family court.
Parenting Apart
Practical help with separation, calmer communication and parenting across two homes.
Common questions
All questionsSocial services have contacted me. What should I do first?
Stay calm and polite. Find out what the concern is, which process has started, what happens next and when. Write down the social worker's name, the date and what was said. Don't ignore calls or letters. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999.
How do I apply for a child arrangements order?
You apply to the family court on form C100, after attending a MIAM or showing you're exempt. The form asks what you want, what you have tried and any safeguarding concerns. There's a court fee, so check the current amount and whether you can get help paying. Cafcass will usually carry out safeguarding checks before the first hearing.
Do I have to go to mediation before applying to court?
Normally yes. Before applying for a child arrangements order you must usually attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), unless an exemption applies, such as evidence of domestic abuse, child protection concerns or genuine urgency. The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme can contribute up to £500 towards mediation in eligible cases.
Do fathers get 50/50 custody?
There's no automatic 50/50 in England and Wales. The court's only question is what's best for your child, so it looks at practical things like how far apart the homes are, the school run, work hours and who has done the day-to-day care. You can still ask for equal or shared care, and many dads have it. A practical plan built around your child is what persuades.
I'm seeing my children less. What should I do?
Pause before you react, because messages sent in a panic often end up in front of a judge. Bring the focus back to your child, start a simple record, find support, and keep your ordinary life going. Don't turn up at the door and turn a handover into a confrontation. If you can't agree, mediation comes before a court application.
Can men be victims of domestic abuse?
Yes. The Crime Survey estimates that about 2.2 million women and 1.5 million men aged 16 and over in England and Wales experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2025. Abuse isn't only violence. It can be control, humiliation, threats or being cut off from your children, and men often find it hard to recognise. ManKind Initiative (0808 800 1170) and Men's Advice Line (0808 801 0327) offer confidential support. In danger, call 999.